Spending the last six year in a world of special needs, meeting people I would have never meet otherwise, I have learned one thing at some point almost every special needs mom ask what she did to deserve this child? Well I am going to answer that question...NOTHING!! Raising a special needs child is something God planned for you long before you ever knew it. You are specially equipped to deal with this challenge. You were chosen for this job. It is not an easy one and we are all entitled to have our days where we feel that we are being punished, but we aren't. We are given an chance to see life that most people will never experience. We are allowed to cry, we are allowed to break down but we also have to pick ourselves up. We have to dust ourselves off and we have to go on. Could most of your friends with "normal" kids honestly fight the battles we do? Could they sit by and watch their child face challenges that most adults couldn't face. Yet we do it and somehow make it look easy. Maybe it's because it is a daily part of our life, we can't just get up one day and say I'm not gonna do it anymore. This is our life now, we live daily with knowing that our child will fight battles that most adults couldn't. They will also come out of those battles with smiles and giggles when most adults would be whining and crying. I honestly tell myself those smiles and giggle are signs from God that I am doing something right. Those little moments seem to come when I need them most. When my daughter is laying in a hospital bed recovering from brain surgery she should be the one with tears in her eyes, and crying and yet she is the one laughing, playing, and bringing our spirits back up. She is the one who is telling us she is fine, and wanting to run a marathon after having brain surgery. She is my reminder that I didn't do anything to cause her special need, I just get the privilege of raising her to be the best she can be. I get to help her succeed to her full potential and I get a front row seat to watch the most amazing child become exactly who God planned her to be.
I won't say I have never felt sorry for myself. I have cried, and felt that I had to be the worst mom on the face of the earth. We are allowed to have those days, we are allowed to cry and be angry at God, but the next minute you have to pick your self up and realize that you are perfectly fit for the job you have ahead of you. So allow your self to cry, be angry, but always remember to pick your self up and fight. Your child needs you to be the strength they need. You don't have to be perfect to be a special needs mom you just have to have the faith in your self that you can do this!!!
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